General Laws of the Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begins to itch.
Law of the Workshop: 
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 
Law of the Telephone: 
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: 
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster
than the one you are in now (works every time). 
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: 
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 
Law of Biomechanics: 
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: 
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: 
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold. 
Murphy's Law of Lockers: 
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering
are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. 
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
The Law of intelligence:
The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that genius has its limits.
Extended Law of  Physics: 
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and sometimes a scar.
image by NASA